Barbara Feil's Blog

Obedience...yes...but what does "from the heart" mean? Or...Faith just out of reach

Deuteronomy 30: 11-16

Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.  It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven and get it and proclaim it to us so that we may obey it?"  Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so that you may obey it.

See I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.  For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

I am preparing a sermon on The Churches Role in Reaching the Next Generation.   My text will be Deuteronomy 11.  I have been thinking and praying about this for some time and I know part of what I want to share is my own story.  I have been in either youth or adult ministry in the church for 35 years.  (Wow, not sure I should admit that...would you believe I started when I was five?)  In addition I grew up in a Christian home with parents who had been missionaries in Japan after World War II.  So, even though I don't have children of my own, I feel I have some unique insights to share. 

Here is my question about the above passage, and ultimately about much of the book of Deuteronomy.  When did the church I grew up in disconnect the "heart" from obedience?  I'm sure they didn't intend to.  All through the book of Deuteronomy it talks about obedience...just like it says, keep his commands, decrees, and laws... That was the part I heard loud and clear.  Both my parents taught obedience to God's law, their rules, and "good Christian living" (you know, don't dance, don't drink, don't smoke and don't go out with guys who do those things!).  So I and my siblings didn't go to school dances, didn't go to movies, didn't play cards and were at church most Sundays and Wednesday nights.  Almost all of what we were told to do was EXTERNAL or BEHAVIORAL.  I'm sure my parents believed we were "good Christian kids", but were we?

Where was the teaching about our HEARTS?  And about LOVING GOD?  I don't ever remember my mother talking about loving God...obeying God yes!  Loving God...not so much!  I do remember some conversations later in life with my Dad where this became more central and I do remember some passion in his walk with God.  After he died, we did find some early journals he wrote on his way to Japan and there was certainly evangelistic zeal, and definitely more of a personal tone to his walk with God, but were there expressions of LOVE?  Did this lack of connection between loving God and obedience keep true Christianity just out of reach for us?  Did it make a generation of us think, especially as we entered adulthood and struggled with or simply stopped keeping the rules, that what it took to live a "good Christian life" was somewhere in heaven or overseas, but definitely not within our reach?

So, what did the lack of connection between HEART AND OBEDIENCE look like to me and my siblings?  It looked like this: Follow the rules and you'll keep dad and mom and God and the church happy.  Unfortunately, it didn't go much further.  So, when and what made me fall in love with God? With Jesus?  Actually it was the loss of my first real boyfriend, first real love in high school that sent me angrily searching the Bible and I stumbled on Psalms and the Word of God became relevant because it expressed raw human emotion.  I found I could relate and I felt understood.  I learned that God allowed an honest ventilation of my feelings, even my anger, if when I was done I would say,"You are still MY God."  And I saw expressions of love for God from people who had sinned big and struggled deeply.  It changed me forever.  It was through that lens that I began to study the rest of the Bible and realized God was more interested in the HEART than most of us are!  He wants obedience...but in almost EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE HE CONNECTS OBEDIENCE TO THE HEART.  God doesn't want JUST DUTY.  Duty is how my mom lived her life, and at the end she didn't think God loved her.  I didn't cry as mom's life was ebbing away, I cried when she breathed her last breath because I knew she was running into Jesus arms and her heart was crying, "He loves me!  He really loves me!!  All this time, he really loved me!!" 

So, when did the church disconnect obedience and the heart?  I'm not sure.  Maybe it was the modern age, the age of reason and the reduction of God's Word to something you could study and master rather than a messy, dirty, crazy story of God's love and His unyielding attempts to reach us with that love.  Maybe it was the age of propositional truth aimed at helping us live "better lives".  Maybe it was a reaction to the 60's and the attempts of parents to keep thier kids from becoming hippies...I don't know for sure and better minds have written on this.  All I know is a generation today is crying for a connection between the heart and obedience.  "Don't just tell us WHAT TO DO, TELL US WHY WE SHOULD DO IT?"  I think they long to engage with a God who is not afraid of their sin, brokenness, failure and struggle.  That God didn't really exist in my house growing up...except in my room when I opened to Psalms. 

So...that's all my random thoughts...I preach on March 22nd so feel free to listen and give me feedback.  www.sunsetpres.org

Ministry of Support for those Unemployed

A month ago we held our first evening of support for those who are un-employed or under-employed.  Our purpose is to offer what only the Body of Christ can offer in these life situations - prayer, listening, hope, caring and to journey together.  It was not our intent to be a networking group, a job placement service or a job finder service.  We meet every other Tuesday evening (our next meeting will be Tuesday, March 17th from 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm here on our Sunset campus). 

At the first evening we had Christian psychologist who also works for an Employee Assistance program come in and talk about coping with change.  One of the things we discovered was the real need for men and women to TALK about what they had been through and the power of talking about it with others who are walking a similar path.  Realizing this, Cliff Reynolds and I made sure that there was time during the evening where we invite people to share where they are at and a little about their story.  We also wanted to make sure that every evening included a time where people felt prayed over.  Those who come are at all different places in their spiritual journey and so we found again that having someone at each table who was confident to be able to be the "pray-er" was very important. 

The second time we met we had about 1/3 return, eager to reconnect.  Many sat at the same table they had the first time.  Two-thirds were there for the first time.  (We expect the group to change each time as some will find work, some will not be able to come - but every evening is open to all.)  We had a panel who answered a series of questions about facing a time of lay-offs and unemployment.  Their stories resonated with many in the room.  I shared a devotional from the life of Joseph.  We want to make sure that the evening includes some encouragement, even five minutes worth, from the Word of God - giving people something to go back to on their own.

This morning between worship services a woman came up to me who had sat with me at this last support evening.  She has been out of work for a year and with our economy the kind of work she is well qualified for has dried up.  For some reason God put her especially heavily on my heart.  I have not stopped thinking about her and the tremendous odds she faced.  I do not have the spiritual gift of faith, and I was feeling very discouraged on her behalf.  She came to me this morning to tell me she had gotten a job and the job she wanted!!  I felt God saying to me, "Oh, you of little faith!" 

I know I will see many of the faces of those dealing with the burden of unemployment for months.  The faces will change but the need will remain.  What I felt like God was speaking to me this morning is that HE IS FAITHFUL...He will walk with those who are on this unwanted journey and He will provide...even when we wonder if he will!  If you are unemployed, or want to support those who are join us on March 17th.