A follow-up to "I Don't Get It!"

I wanted to follow up with some further thoughts on the national news reports on Michelle Obama's need to "soften" her image by not saying anything that would put her on the front page (though having her on the "style page" would be okay) and her need not to have any opinions stronger than her husbands or people would wonder who was running the country.  Honestly, I had a visceral reaction to it. My response is partly about my own wound.  There have been a number of times in my life when I felt the pressure, intentional or unintentional, to not bring who I am into a situation.  I felt that who I was somehow threatening.  I hope I am self aware enough at this season of my life to know that I CAN be threatening.  When I am acting out of my "flesh" or out of fear, I can use my strength in ways that are threatening.  What has been hurtful though are the times when I was operating out of God given gifts and God designed strengths and that was threatening! 

Sarah Sumner, in her book entitled "Men and Women in the Church" tells of when she was a student at Trinity Seminary and one of her professors called her into his office and in a very warm, fatherly tone, "Sarah, do not show the full color of your plume; it will intimidate the men."  Sarah says that she walked out of his office, knowing he intended to be helpful, but wondering, "Do I have the courage to exercise integrity and be who I am in Christ?" 

I think that is what I wonder.  Not whether I have the right to BE ME, and I don't care how that impacts those around me - but whether I have the courage to exercise integrity and be who I am in Christ?  I know this means as a servant, because Jesus was a servant.  I know this means as with Christ-like love and humility. 

One young woman I was talking to about the Michelle Obama report said, "You would expect in a conservative religious setting that there would be that kind of sentiment, but it's a little surprising in the secular world where you would think that women have come farther than that!"  Another said, "If a man is strong, bold and has definite opinions he is respected, if a woman demonstrates that same kind of demeanor she is 'too much'".  I wish the church was the place where men and women partnered together and did so with all the strength God created them with - where each did all they could to draw that strength out of one another and honor it!  When God created man and woman he did so as a strength equal and corresponding to each other.  The fall damaged that beautiful partnership, can't our unity in Christ restore it?  Could the redeemed community of Christ be a place where a woman could bring her "full plume" and not intimidate anyone - but use it for God's glory? 

Comments

[Heather]

I suspect that a lot of the contentiousness with gender equality both in the Church and in secular society stems from the fact that most cultures are patriarchal.

Of all the 66 books in the Bible, only two are named for women. If you read Ruth's and Esther's stories, you find that they were both strong women; but, they used their strengths to work through (but *not* manipulating)their husbands to achieve God's will.

Another interesting observation about women in the New Testament is how they acted about and reacted to the arrest, trial, crucifixion, and burial of Jesus. The women were also the ones who returned to the tomb and first heard about Jesus' resurrection.

I think that God intended women to be assertive but not overpowering. Men and women both have strengths and weaknesses, but if you study the differences, I think you will find that they complement each other -- one's weakness is the other's strength. That just led to another thought... what if a couple ran for office as President and Vice President? Now *that* would be interesting!

[dt]

Barb, great post. I found it thought provoking. As a casual observer I thought the Michelle Obama flap was over her "un-patriotic" comments. As far as softening her image, I'm not sure it is entirely gender motivated. The press was pretty rough on McCain for his "temper" and "hot-headedness." I do not disagree that women are not given the same freedom to express themselves, but I wonder if Michelle’s situation has more to do with the fact that American's like their politicians bland. I could be wrong and often am, but just my thoughts. I hope life is going well for you in Portland. dt

[heidi]

I think (my opinion) that hiding ourselves is hiding our true integrity's. I am very outgoing and people tell me to calm down, but that's my gifting. I'm very about the next person I meet. Is that wrong? Does that not glorify God?
Hogwash... If I do it accordingly to what is correct.
~ I cannot walk in my corporation and demand respect if I first don't give it myself thru good work ethic, but I STILL can succeed

~ I cannot expect my kids to obey me (since 2 are teens) until I give them boundaries, LOVE, and respect and a listening ear.

~ I cannot allow my editor to change my thoughts and ideas of what I am writing until I give my permission too.

It reminds me of a song by Helen Reddy, (I'm so old) I am woman hear ME roar...

I can roar tastefully, with boundaries, with respect, and be the SAME woman who God created me to be..

... That woman who is load and laughing uncontrollably at the Starbucks celebrating with a girlfriend.

I love that God made me this way.